North Leigh C of E Primary School
Short Stories
Be inspired to write something...
It is so nice to read stories, meeting people and things we would usually never meet even if we lived forever. It is even better to write stories which may be sitting in the back of your head, bringing to life that lovely flower that talks, cuddly animal that hates being cuddled or feet that can help you run a mile in two minutes.

Even better is to see writing published - and here is the chance to do something that will mean your short story is read by lots of other people. Who knows, you may even become as famous as J. K. Rowling.

How best to submit your story? Using a word processing programme such as Word, write your story (maximum 500 words). Spell check and make sure the punctuation and grammar are as good as you can get it. Save your story! Then copy and paste into the correct field below. Complete the other fields and press the submit button. We will check the story to make sure it is suitable for publication on this web site and then publish - typically this takes 24 to 48 hours. When your work is published tell all your friends about it!

Send us your short story for publication on this page.

Paige P - Year 5
The End Of A Rainbow

One rainy evening, some twins were playing in their playroom. The twins names are Holly and Molly. They look very similar but not quiet. The one thing that you would straight away notice, is that they both have a mole under their left eye. They both have black hair and blue eyes. They also have some things in common they both like unicorns and both like the same colour which is pink.

The next day Holly and Molly woke their parents up by screaming. Their parents came rushing in. They were looking out of the window with a grin on their faces.
"What is it girls?" asked Dad.
"There is a rainbow. We must find pot of gold," said Holly.

They stated packing for the adventure
Five hours later the rainbow was starting to fade away. In a blink it was gone.
"Where are we," asked Mum
"I don't have a clue," said Dad.

Now as you all now that the twins and their parents are all lost and don't have a clue where they are.

Day turned into night they are hungry and when the twins are hungry, trust me it is not a pleasant sight to see or hear.
"Mummy Daddy I'm HUNGRY," growled Holly.
"Me to," said Molly.
But of course, they had no food to eat at all. They were in a green meadow with Daisy's and Buttercups.
"I have an idea. Let's all be quite and listen for cars that way if we hear a road we can look for it and if we find it then we should look for a taxi then we can get in it,"said Mum.
"But we don't have any money,"said Dad.
"oh don't we,"said Mum waving a ten pound note in the air.
All of a sudden it went quite. TOOT TOOT a car was pressing its horn.
They followed the noise of the cars.They had found a road, they stood by it and started looking for a taxi, but instead of a taxi a Mini pulled over and opened its window.

"May we be of assistance?"said the driver.
"Yes please,"said Dad
They all hoped in the car. Not literally. It was a tight squeeze but they made it.
25 mins later they were home and having dinner.
"OH MT GOSH girls we have got to put you to bed it is nearly 09:00 pm. Finish of your dinner and then go to bed.

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Paige P - Year 5
The Shooting Star

One evening a girl named Bella was looking at the stars with her new telescope she got for Christmas. This was the second time she was using it.
"Bella darling your tea is ready," said Mum.
Bella quickly ran down the stairs and asked Mum what was for tea.
"Tuna pasta bake sweetie," exclaimed Mum.
After tea, she went back upstairs to look at the stars again. Something caught the corner of her eye. One of the stars were moving.
"Its probably just a satellite," shouted Dad.
But it wasn't a satellite because it had a sparkly trail running behind it and it was moving quite fast.
"I think it's a shooting star," she said.
Then came another and another and another!!!
"I think there's a meteor shower going on," shouted Bella.
Bella's parents rushed up the stairs with excitement and looked out of the window.
Her parents were speechless.

The next day Bella all thought it was a dream but it wasn't it was all real.


Short story review
Mrs Cleal
How exciting Paige, you really made me want to see a meteor shower. You described it so well and I think you used great alternatives to 'said'. Well done Paige a great short story.

Paige this story was really good and it made me want to be there. You also used very good adjectives. Well done

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Oscar M - Year 5

Lurking on the side of a mountain was a high tech HQ. Inside, agents of all sorts were working at panels and computers, whilst answering calls of mysterious happenings. At the front, a tall confident man stood facing an electronic map-of-the-world, red marker dots showed where other HQs were. 'Sir!' one of the agents started. 'What?' asked the man at the front. 'We've got this message!' The agent handed him a piece of paper. The message read:
'I'm trapped. Been captured. Find file and coordinates in there. BEWARE! People captured me very strong! Armed!'
They looked at each other. 'Make sure nobody finds this,' commanded the man. 'Yes sir!' obeyed the agent.
Somewhere in England a 21 year old boy was getting up to start the day. He put his headphones on and grooved whilst brushing his teeth. He opened up his laptop and looked at his emails. He found the same message that HQ had. But this time, there was an extra sentence which had the coordinates to find the file. The boy was called Zen and had short ginger hair and muscly arms. His house was a bungalow and was very messy. He picked up his phone and typed in the coordinates. 'Bleep bleep' went the device, an arrow showed up and he followed it.
In a few hours' time he came to a door on the side of a mountain. The arrow turned into a dot, this was the place. On the door there was a sign. It was a face but half of it was alien and the other was human. Their mouths started to move and they said. 'Password.' He thought for a moment and looked at the sign again. He made something up. 'Alien' he queried, 'Access denied,' replied the robotic voice. He realised that when it spoke, the mouth would reveal the other side of the door when it opened. Zen heaved the mouth open and slid through.
He was in a well lit corridor that lead to a 'T' junction, he turned right to find a massive room with loads of aliens and humans in. At the front a man was standing staring at him. 'I need a file,' he said confidently. The man raised his eye brows, then took him to a room where all the files were stored. The tracking device was beeping really fast now, and when he was opening a draw it said, 'you have reached your destination.' Zen read the file, and was surprised to find that the man he was trying to save had the same surname, which was Dex. He typed in the new coordinates. 'I'll have to suit you up then.' The man said. He gave Zen a blaster and a membership card. Off Zen went.
He crossed rivers, and mountains to finally get to a cave. He entered slowly and cautiously. When he was inside he saw a cage dangling from the ceiling. 'Help!' the person inside was crying. Just then three boisterous looking men came out of the shadows with guns. Zen pulled out his, 'I don't want to shoot but let me free this man.' All the men shot in unison. Zen ducked and shot two of the men, their arms started bleeding so they ran away, and so did the last because he wanted to be with his buddies. Zen shot at the chain holding the cage. The cage door fell open as it hit the ground and the man was Zen's father.
Zen became one of the recruits at HQ, and lived a happy life with his dad then on.

Short story review
Mrs Hague
It's great to see you writing full stories Oscar. I think my favourite part of this one is when Zen is grooving with his headphones whilst he cleaned his teeth! You have chosen some great words instead of 'said'. Thank you again :-) Mrs Hague

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Oscar M - Year 5

Bill raced downstairs into the kitchen. 'Mum, I'm starving! When will breakfast be ready?' he panted. 'Well, you're just in time, I've put it in the lounge,' she replied. Bill was a nice young boy who liked to read and do the best he could, but sadly he was bullied at school and called a nerd. He lived in a neat, clean house which was very white. The walls were white, the furniture was white and even the cat was white, and because of that the cat had been sat on quite a few times. Bill's mum and dad were proud of Bill and how hard he worked. They were both scientists and hoped Bill would be one too.

After Bill had eaten his breakfast he sat on the couch, just missing the cat, and grabbed the remote and started to watch Teen Titans Go. Dad came into the room looking very fatigued and worried. 'Why do you look so tired and worried dad?' Bill asked. 'Oh err… I know it's the weekend, but me and your mum have to go to work…' he was cut off by Bill saying, 'Ok, I'll be sensible and stay home then.' 'Well, that's the thing,' his dad began, 'you're going to stay with granny.' It was going to be Bill's first time going to granny's house. As Bill got changed with butterflies in his stomach, he thought about the day ahead. What would granny be like? What would he do?

He was in the car looking at his feet, 'Everything is going to be fine.' Mum said calmly and off the car went.

After a 15 minutes' drive they came to an overgrown wood with a path made from cut down trees. 'We'll drop you off here, ok?' said mum. 'Yes, but where do I go?' questioned Bill. 'It's simple. Just follow the path until you get to a house, then open the door with this key.' She handed him a key which looked like a bone. 'Bye!' exclaimed Mum and Dad. 'Bye!' acknowledged Bill. He followed the instructions carefully, even though they were simple, and before he knew it he was in through the front door.

The house was dark and gloomy. It was lit by a chandelier made out of a deer horn, which had melted wax candles on the end of each prong. He looked around the room and saw an old lady knitting. Her slippers were made out of bunny skin, and the pompoms on top weren't pompoms at all, they were bunny tails. Her hair was grey and curled into a bun and her top was made from bear fur. 'HELLO YOUNG BOY!' yelled Granny. 'Oh he-hello.' he responded. He sat in one of the chairs and looked at the walls, there were stuffed animal heads on wooden shields. Bill and granny spent most of the day in silence and had the occasional question or two.

It was Bill's bedtime, granny showed him to his room. It was a purple and brownish sort of colour, which had a massive stuffed bear that for some reason, always seemed to stare at him. He hopped into the itchy, scratchy covers and tried to settle down. In about three minutes he was asleep, and was dreaming of what might have happened to Mum and Dad or both of them!

The next morning he woke up and only got six hours sleep. This time, instead of racing down into the kitchen, he slowly plodded into the dining room to find waiting for him, a bowl of duck tongues. He turned away, he had lost his appetite. He walked into the lounge, he saw granny doing Just Dance on her Nintendo Switch. 'How'd you get that Nintendo, gran?' he queried. 'FOUND IT IN THE TRASH!' she answered.

By the end of the first week, Bill was starting to like and enjoy being with granny, and didn't really want to leave. On sunny days they would eat ice creams, on rainy days they would play a board game, and on windy days they would fly a kite.

One day they went out together and granny took her rifle along. They came to a wood. The trees were high and would creak when the wind blew. This scared Bill which made him walk closer to granny. Just then granny spotted a rabbit. She raised her rifle and aimed carefully. Suddenly Bill lunged at her with tears in his eyes and knocked the rifle. The rifle went off but the shot missed. 'Please don't shoot the rabbit.' Bill begged.

They walked further into the wood in silence. Soon they came to a clearing where all the sun came in. There were two logs to sit on. They sat down. Granny looked at Bill tenderly and said, 'I won't shoot animals any more if it makes you upset.' Bill smiled with relief, 'thank you granny.' Then they started talking about what they would do the next time when he came over. 'We could do some junk modelling.' 'OH AND I'LL GET SOME LEGO AS WELL!' 'Yes…' They talked for some time, and then they took a selfie of them having a lot of fun and laughing. They started to sunbathe then made a secret hand shake.

Back at the house they watched a movie together, and when that was finished they had dinner, and this time it was a ham sandwich.

Bill's parents arrived to pick him up. He gave granny one last hug, jumped into the car then drove off. On the way home Bill told his parents all about what he did. He told them about the first night he was there and how much he liked granny. 'When can I go back?' he kept asking.

Short story review
Mrs Hague
You have a real comic style that comes through in all of your writing Oscar. The little details you add e.g. the white cat who almost gets sat on, really make your stories your own. In this story, you've created a real contrast between Bill's house and his Granny's house. The way you have described the different settings is really effective and adds to Bill's uneasiness of the new surroundings he unexpectedly finds himself in. I'm glad that Bill and his Granny found some common ground by the end of the story. Thank you Oscar :-)

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May C - Year 5
The forbidden tower

The night was still, but lurking in the distance just over the hill I could see a top of a tower peering through the old oak tree.I began to stare at it, not knowing what its next actions would be.

During the couple of seconds I had looked away I had noticed that the positioning had changed as I took a glimpse back.I began to wonder was the tower alive?

Eager to see what its next move would be, I rolled over and thought to my self I had to get some sleep, but I was like a dog with a bone I couldn't let go.As I anxiously rolled over I saw a reflection on a mirror of the ancient tower moving from place to place getting closer and closer.

Short story review
Mrs Hague
There is some fantastic descriptive language in your writing. You have chosen some really effective words. It feels like the beginning of a rather spooky adventure story. Do you think you will finish it? Even the title supports the ominous feeling your writing has created. I'd be really interested to know how the tower is moving and if there is anyone behind it! Thank you.

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Paige P - Year 5
The puppy

Once long ago there was twins, and their names were Lilly and Millie. They were 13 years old. Millie was inquisitive about the Stone-Age and Lilly was into factual books and liked to read.Their parents were working 8 hours a day so the girls did not see them that often. so one day the girls were bored so they decided to go on a walk, and on that walk they heard a loud growl .The growl made Lilly jump.Millie went to have a look.....
''awwww,''said Millie
''It's just a dog looking after her puppy,''exclaimed Millie.
There was only one puppy and it was brown. infact it was a dark brown.
''come on Lilly come and see this tiny little puppy.

From that day on the girls visited the puppy and the mum every day once their parents had gone to work. they brought mum some meat and the puppy some day the pup wasn't their.
the girls gasped in shock.Millie got worried it was taken away and Lilly got worried that it was run over.The mum seemed calm. it was almost like she new that this was going to happen. she wasn't whining or wasn't sniffing around.
''stand up girl,'' said Lilly
the puppy was under her this whole time.


Short story review
Mrs Hague
I am very relieved that Lily and Millie found the puppy - I agree that the Mummy dog would have been much more worried if the puppy had really been missing. Thank you :-)

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Oscar M - Year 5

'MWAAA!' yawned Bacchus, 'Nothing like a good day of rest!' He slumped back down under his duvet and looked at the calendar, 'WHAAA? IT'S MONDAY. It's my first time on a ship as well.' Bacchus said grumpily. So as slow as a slug, Bacchus hauled himself out of bed, did his chores and set off for the dock. Bacchus was eighteen years of age and had a scruffy old looking beard, he wore a mole skin coat and old raggedy shoes. He owned a pet cat and whenever it was answering a curly, brown call of nature in your garden, it would look at you mischievously.

Bacchus was at the dock and was talking to the man he would be sailing with, he was a very jolly man with a wobbly belly and a peg leg. 'So let's get sailing.' bellowed the man whilst clapping a hand on Bacchus' shoulder.

They lumbered onto the deck and saw five other people. 'Oh hello,' boomed the man, 'Bacchus, meet Steve, Binky, Billy, Bob and Jeffery,' said the man, 'Oh, ha ha hello.' whimpered Bacchus. Steve, Binky, Billy, Bob and Jeffery were all extremely muscly. They had heart tattoos all on their right arm which had 'Mother' written on. Steve had a tooth pick in his mouth; Binky was lifting a weight; Billy and Bob were arm wrestling, and Jeffery was smashing watermelons with a baseball bat. 'Let's go.' shouted the man. The five men set to work. They let down the sails and the ship raced off.

An hour or so later they came across an island. 'GET OFF,' screamed Steve, the crew obeyed. Bacchus stared at the scenery, 'I said GET OFF!' repeated Steve. 'Oh-oh yes.' stuttered Bacchus. He plodded down the ramp onto the soft squishy sand, 'this is the life,' thought Bacchus. 'WALK ON!' commanded Steve. They did as they were told and walked on.

Soon enough they came across a cave, the five mean looking guys went straight into the cave. Bacchus had a bad feeling about it and didn't go in.

Not long after he heard the men scream so Bacchus ran all the way the boat, told the captain to set sail all the way home, and that's what they did.

Back on the island the five men came out of the cave laughing, but their faces dropped when they couldn't see the boat.

Short story review
Mrs Hague
I had a some very mixed emotions at the end of this story Oscar! First I was scared about what was in the cave, and then I felt really sad for the crew who got left behind. I wonder if they'll ever be rescued?! :-)

Mrs Cleal
What a great story, Oscar. You have created some really interesting characters, I really wanted to know a little more about them, maybe in the next instalment? I love your descriptions especially 'wobbly belly' made me smile. And do you know Oscar, I have a cat that wanders into my garden that looks at me in exactly the same mischievous way that Bachuss's cat looks but fortunately to date it hasn't answered a call of nature in my garden yet.
You have used some great alternatives for said and really though about sentence structure. Well done Oscar.

olivia - Year 5
I really liked the vocabulary you used to describe your characters and I like the names of the characters. Also the story was very good.

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Paige P - Year 5
The Adventures of the Wood Mouse

One Spring morning the sun was beaming bright through the trees of the forest. The little wood mouse that lived there was getting ready to move house. She had to move to a bigger house because she had three little baby mice. Her babies were growing very fast. So she started packing their things.

Once their things were all packed up she picked their stuff up and looked for a good place to start building their new home. When she had found the right place she put their things down and started building. But she was wrong, she could not live here as it was to damp. So she started looking again. She spotted another place, so they walked over there. The place was by a really big Willow tree. So she started building their home. She could not live here as there was a lot of bugs. So she started looking again.

''Oh i see the PERFECT place for us to live," she shouted.
So they walked over there. The perfect place was by an Apple tree so they could eat the Apples. She started building...... The place by the Apple tree was the perfect place.

Short story review
Mrs Hague
I really like the opening to your story, you describe the sunlight beautifully. Your story reminds me a bit of Goldilocks and the 3 bears, where Goldilocks had to try lots of different porridge before she got her favourite one. Well done, thank you for writing. Mrs Hague :-)

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Holly I - Year 5

Upstairs Ellie was in her dark cold attic, full of boxes. To help sort them all out she was taking box after box down stairs until she found a letter.

When she opened it, it read 'To Isabel' and at the bottom of the letter it read 'love from.' There was a tear on the piece of paper where the name was supposed to be, and so she had no idea who it was from. Isabel was Ellie's gran, and suddenly all these thoughts became to come into her head like:
Who was it from?
Why did someone write her this?
How long has it been in the attic for?
When she got down stairs she hid the letter then sat on her bed then thought about it for a long time.
The next day her mum noticed that she wasn't being herself so she asked her, "What is on your mind and why are you acting different? What's wrong Ellie? Then she decided to show her so Ellie got the letter and told her Mum everything
"Oh Ellie there's nothing to worry about this is from her husband, your Grandfather"

"What, really?"
"Yes so you can stop worrying and relax" said her Mum
"Ok thanks Mum " replied Ellie.

Later that day Ellie put the letter back in the box and soon forgot all about it.

Short story review
Mrs Hague
Thank you for your story Holly. I think that there is a good moral to your story and one that we always tell you at school - always share any worries you have with a grown up :-) Keep writing, well done. Mrs Hague

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Paige P - Year 5
The Walk In The Woods

One summers day a girl name Molly was walking in the woods, and the woods were called Bluebell woods. Molly was aged 12 and she was walking with her friends. Her BESTIE was there and she was called Millie. Millie was almost twelve but she wasn't just yet. She was twelve in May, May the 1st.

The next day, Molly woke up with a strange tingly feeling in her hand. She thought it would go away so she got dressed. When breakfast was ready Molly still had that strange tingly feeling but it wasn't in her hand anymore it was in her foot now. She told her parents and they didn't know what it was either.

''Molly when did this start?'' asked Dad
Molly knew the answer to this.
''It started this morning,'' said Molly
Mum didn't ask any questions, for she could not think of any because Dad was asking all of the questions to Molly and besides, Dad does have a loud voice and Mum can only think in silence.

Later that evening that strange tingle had gone away. Molly had thought it was her body just reacting to something she had to eat for dinner that evening.But of course it was all a MYSTERY!!!!

Short story review
Mrs Hague
That certainly was a mystery! Let's hope that Molly doesn't get that strange tingling again. Mrs Hague :-)

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Olivia G - Year 5
The Time Tree

“KATIE! Where is Millie the cat?” screamed Abi scared to death. “We have to go and find her. I think I see her, she is up a tree!”
Abi ran furiously towards the weeping willow tree, her heart was beating like a drum by the time she got there. They started to climb the tree in their garden. All of a sudden, Abi heard Milly the cat, “meowwwwwwwww”.
Milly screeched, “I hear her, let's keep going.”
Out of breath, Katie and Abi got to the very top of the tree and without realising it, had entered a new place.
“Oh no, where are we? There is a lot of different things here and why has it suddenly gone dark?” Abi said curiously. Katie flickered on her light and saw that they were in a funny looking wood. Katie caught a glimpse of two children, “Who are they?”

“Hello, I'm Henry and this is my sister Emma,” they said. The children were wearing weird clothes. As Abi looked around, she noticed there was no trees but there were leaves on the floor. There were also lots of bushes. The leaves on the ground were very crunchy and crusty. White butterflies floated gracefully around in the air.
It was a pitch-black night and a glistening moon and stars shone down on them. There was also a country cottage that looked very familiar. It was called Honeysuckle cottage. “Wait! I think that is our house! It looks exactly like ours!” Katie shouted with a puzzled look on her face.
“But ours is called Bluebell cottage. How weird. What is going on here?”

Suddenly, Katie's phone dropped out of her pocket. She quickly picked it up and looked at it. Luckily it was fine!
“What is that thing you are holding?” asked Emma curiously.
“It's my iPhone, why?” asked Katie.
“An iPhone what is that? and what do you use it for it looks really funny,” said Emma with a puzzled look on her face.
“Oh no Katie are you thinking what I'm thinking because if you are then I think we are in the past!” Abi said worryingly... .

Short story review
Mrs Hague
This is a VERY exciting opening to your story Olivia - I hope you will write some more of it. You have used some excellent descriptive vocabulary, including some carefully chosen adverbs and a simile. I also really like how you have varied your sentence openings. Well done :-)

Oscar M
I really enjoyed reading this story that you've written. I also like the imagination of the story as well. Looking forward to reading the sequel!

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Oscar M - Year 5
The famous bike ride

I was thinking of what to write one day,
but couldn't think of anything.

So I asked my mum:
'What can I write?'
And she replied 'anything!'

Then I began to think what it meant.
Yes, I know it means anything.

What if someone didn't know what it meant,
how would they understand?

Did it mean Mythical,
History, Adventure, Horror,
Drama, Fiction, Non-Fiction,
Science-Fiction, Comedy,
Fantasy, Legends or Tribal?

Ah Ha! It means anything.

Short story review
Mrs Hague
I think that the genre of this poem is what we call 'nonsense' poetry. You've done a great job with it. If you like nonsense poetry, try reading some Micheal Rosen or Roger McGough's poetry for children.

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Paige P - Year 5

Long ago there was a boy named Charlie and it was his seventh birthday. It all started when Charlie woke up early and woke his parents and shouted, ''IT'S MY BIRTHDAY GET UP.''
''OH GOSH Charlie, you scared the life out of me,'' said Mum.

Of course Charlie desperately wanted to open his presents, but he did not want his parents to miss out on watching him opening his birthday presents. The first one was a little one. He took of the wrapping paper and gasped.''WOW! thanks Mum,'' exclaimed Charlie. It was a little toy rocket ship.

Now the next one was a bit bigger, it was from Dad and it was a set of acrylic paints, paint brushes and that special paper. ''Thanks Dad, ''Charlie said excitedly.

Now the next one was the last one and it was from Mum, Dad, Grandma and Grandpa. that was huge it was a BRAND NEW BIKE!! Charlie loved it. so his Dad built it all up and they all went on a test run.
''THIS A AMAZING,''said Charlie.
All of a sudden he fell of!

''OWW!'' screamed Charlie his parents rushed over and helped him get up.

''Oh Charlie are you alright?'' Mum asked ''No Mum i hurt my knee'' said charlie in an upset voice. They all went home. when they got back Dad looked at charlies knee.''Oh charlie it is fine you just scratched your knee".


Short story review
Mrs Hague
Thank you for story Paige :-) Mrs Hague

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Paige P - Year 5
My Life

It all started when a girl named Poppy smashed an expensive china plate. She did not mean to as she was playing tag with her big sister Abey. Poppy did not cry, nor run upstairs she apologized and helped her Dad clean it up.

The next day, Poppy did not play tag with her sister inside she played outside as it was a nice day. Later that afternoon her parents arranged a sleep over with her BFF. Later on in the evening, Ding Dong. She was here her name was Malissa she is also a lovely girl although there was one mean thing about her she loved playing pranks on me and my sister. Later that evening Mlissa and Poppy played Mums and Dads. They played that for ages. Then mum came upstairs and asked the girls to get into their pj's and brush their teeth and then Poppy's parents would come and tuck them in.

The next day Malissa woke up early, she woke up Poppy and said, ''good morning Popps''. Poppy looked at the time. ''Malissa it's way to early it's 07:36AM go back to sleep!'' Malissa tried but she just could not go back to sleep. ''Poppy i'm hungry'', exclaimed Malissa. Poppy did not reply.

After breakfast the girls started a jigsaw puzzle but never finished it. After Malissa went home Poppy went up to her room and had a long nap.


Short story review
Mrs Hague
Poppy and Malissa sound like they have a great friendship - even if Malissa is a bit cheeky with the pranks she plays! You've described a really lovely sleepover. A positive message about looking forward to when we can all see our friends again. Thank you for sharing your story Paige :-)

Mrs Cleal
Well done Paige. I really liked that you started your sentences in different ways. I think I would like to be friends with Poppy she seems like she would be very friendly and helpful. Keep up the good writing Paige, maybe you could write another adventure about Poppy.

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Lucy w - Year 5
Girl and Robot

One Tuesday evening,a girl attempted to make a robot.....! That girl was called Elizabeth.

She climbed inside the robot to check it was going to work when she pulls the lever ~clink clank~. Elizabeth finally thought she was done so she climbed out of the robots opening ~Screech clank~went the door of the robot.

She ran over to the lever. Elizabeth thought it would work . So with a straight look on her face she began pulling.......pulling on the lever!

The engine started. The robots eyes glowed in the dark mist.After a few seconds of a working robot the robot shut down.Elizabeth said to herself "i thought i pressed all the right buttons and fixed all the mistakes better go and see whats wrong now"she looked ashamed.

She climbed climbed inside the robots opening and sorted out the problems she thought were problems.

Lizzy jumped out and heaved a sigh of ashament . She walked round to the lever station but she forgot to close the robots opening door . She turned around to all the buttons and pressed only a few she didn't want to ruin the whole robot coming to life project. After that, she walked back to the robot and stared into robots eyes made out of light bulbs and thought.

Elizabeth grabbed the closest spanner and started to climb the robots arm and hit the spanner on his arms,body and head. She also hit his hands. Then she moved robots head downwards and went towards the lever.

Pulled the lever. The robots eyes did glow but shorter than the last try. She sat down leaning up right against the workbench and looked at the plan for the building process of the robot and suddenly scrunched up the plan and threw it across the building floor!

She started the engine and had hope that the robot would work this time . Elizabeth pilled the lever to hard and everything went lighting speed.. The floor was shaking and shivering and the walls were cluttering.Pipes were exploding with misty looking smoke. Elizabeth got frightend and tried pulling to make it stop but she ended up breaking the lever.The pipes got out of hand and made Lizzy fall to the ground.Suddenly,she awoke and was lying directly in the centre of the robots hands.Sadly the robot never worked out maybe Elizabeth would make another robot in the future and learn from her mistakes?

The end

Short story review
Mrs Hague
I recognise where this story has come from too! A touching story about perseverance with a slight tinge of sadness in the realisation that it doesn't always work out. But hope that you can always start again :-) Thank you for writing another story Lucy, keep it up.

Oscar M
Lucy, I can see where you got this story from and it is better than the clip. I like the way you described Elizabeth's feelings and how she did things. I also like the moral in the end which was to learn from your mistakes.

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Oscar M - Year 5
Time Travel

When I heard that Dad was going to be an inventor, I was thrilled to bits because he could make phones and Lego. So I asked him, "Dad, please can you make me a phone?" When Dad looked at me his eyes told me everything, he was going to fulfil his dreams of going back in time.

Off I went back into my room and I began to think why he wanted to go back in time anyway.

The next day I went into the garage and saw a grandfather clock standing in the middle of it. "What's this all about?" I said to myself. The grandfather clock was old and rusty with brass on the edges. The clock face wasn't even there anymore, I mean what use is a clock without a face.

Just at that moment my Dad came lumbering in, his hair was as ragged as one of mum's toe nails and his eyes looked like they had mascara. In his hand was the clock face, "Oh, there you are, Dad!" I exclaimed, "Yeah" replied Dad. He wasn"t himself (probably the dog had kept him up all night, you never know).

When dad managed to get to the clock, he fixed on the face. Then Dad yawned and fell asleep on the garage floor.

A week later Dad showed me how the time machine worked. I didn"t really listen but it went something like orange to get it started, red to make it go and green to make it stop.

When Dad left the room I thought I'd have a go at pressing the orange button then stop it straight after. So I pressed the orange button and then the green but it wouldn"t stop.

"PVEW" I was in a vortex of time. Suddenly the whirring stopped and everything looked different. Civilisation was less advanced.

I pressed the orange button, it was burning. I waited for it to cool down. One hour passed. Then I pressed the orange button and then the green, they were hot. Once again I shot into the time vortex.

Soon enough I was back at home. BANG the clock exploded. My dad walked in, he was devastated. "Did it work?" he asked. "Yes," I trembled.

Short story review
Mrs Hague
I think this story is just the beginning Oscar. It feels like there is the opportunity to send your character to lots of different time periods for a myriad of adventures. I'd love to know more about your character - their name, where and who they live with, what made their Dad decide to become an adventure. A good story always leaves your reader wanting more! I look forward to reading any sequels you might write.

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Lucy W - Year 5
It was 2003,first moon landing in space.

Previously, that week, the third astronaut was left behind on earth.That astronaut was called Jhon Cane but he was washing his hands right before take of.

Suddenly a loud speaker came on saying"TAKE OF IN 3...... 2...... 1"

Sadly jhon didn't make it on time and yelled"WE SHOULD REALLY MAKE THE BATHROOMS MUCH CLOSER TO THE TAKE OF AREA"!

Well no one heard him other than himself.

Back on the rocket ,right after take off they had no clue jhon wasn't on the rocket they just kept concentrated and didn't make sound or even open there tight,dry mouths.

Then finally something came out of the two"Hello I forgot to introduce myself I'm Gabe Quial you must be Cody Jay"gabe started the whole conversation.

"Yes I am Cody Jay nice to meet you well Hello"whilst he spat them words out.

A day later on the rocket,"WE HAVE LANDED LEADER WAKE UP"Cody yelled at the top of his lungs not necessarily he just felt like it!

Gabe woke."Whooo" came from the back of the rocket. Who could that be?

Gabe and Cody went to go check when a force pulled them back they we confused for a second when they remembered that was a speaker.

Previously ,after that confusion Cody wanted gabe to be the first man on moon and to be remembered but there was an argument because well Cody wanted gabe to be the first on the moon but gabe wanted cody to be!So they agreed they would go on at the same time .So they did.

A few days later captain ohoi told them to come back with a walkey talkey well a space commander one.

Back on earth,they were ready for the landing of Mr Quail and Mr Jay But sadly jhon wasnt there he passed away from food posion!

They arrived, everyone was clapping,cheering,shouting and even showing posters and pictures of the two with jhon.

Cody was a bit confused to why jhon wasnt there im sure gabe felt that way aswell.Someone named Jamie Cane came up to them and said "Hello im jhons brother Jamie cane he passed away from food posion he ate a posionous flower im not sure why"explained jamie with tears dripping down his dreary face.

"Oh im so so so sorry jamie we have no clue either i hope your family is ok and i hope you are aswell it is a questionable time to why he ate a posionous flower"replied gabe with a tear dripping down his face.

Jamie walked away.

After a while of fame the two boys went back home to see there family's.

The end and they lived a happy life just without jhon cane

Short story review
Mrs Hague
Your story started off by making me laugh - I agree, the bathrooms should have been closer! And by the end I felt very sad that poor John had eaten a poisonous flower. Rollercoaster of emotions! Thank you for your story Lucy :-)

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Oscar M - Year 5
Watermelon Man

At the St. John's hospital a baby was being born. It was a normal baby and it didn't have super powers (not yet at least).

The baby came out at one second past midnight and had been put in the incubation pod. Very clumsily someone had spilt a drink on the incubation pod and the drink was watermelon juice. Some of it had slipped inside the pod and the baby had drank some by accident. Suddenly a golden light had burst from the baby's palms and then it faded away.

What had happened?

21 Years Later

The baby had become a super hero. He could generate watermelons to any size, some as small as sugar cubes, some as large as trees, some as soft as cushions and some as hard as steel.

He saved the TV shops and sweet shops from being robbed. He had one tactic that was most successful which was called "The Watermelon Spin". What he did was he threw the watermelon so that it spun through the air and eventually hit the robber's face. Whenever he entered a crime scene he would say "Never to fear coz I am here".

One day an evil man called Gluttony, who was very fat indeed, tried to steal one of the world's best TVs. Watermelon Man saw him and did "The Watermelon Spin", but Gluttony ate it and grinned. Watermelon Man threw 10 more watermelons and Gluttony ate them all. Just then Watermelon Man knew what to do but it would cost. He generated a watermelon the size of the Empire State Building in New York and crushed Gluttony, but then Watermelon Man had lost his superpowers.

Short story review
Mrs Hague
Thanks for submitting a second story Oscar. You came up with a fantastic idea of how Watermelon Man became a superhero - very clever! Your story has a great moral - sacrificing his super powers in order to make sure Gluttony was defeated! Keep writing :-)

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Fern J - Year 5

Down in a little wood lived Granny Granny lived in a small, cosy cottage surrounded by animals. She was friends with the animals and she always helped them if they needed help and they did too. Early one wintry morning, she was going for a walk in the forest when she spotted a scared, shivering fox cub.

"Come to my cottage you poor thing", said Granny sympathetically. She picked up the little, red fox cub and wrapped her shawl around him to keep him warm.

When she was back in her cottage, Granny asked the cub where his family was.

"I dont know", he replied with a worried look on his face.

"Don't worry we'll find your family." Granny said, trying to hold back her tears. "Let's get you to bed, shall we? We will try and find your parents in the morning." The fox cub reluctantly got into bed and gave a big yawn. Shortly after, he fell asleep.

The next morning, the fox cub woke up and came downstairs to have breakfast. Granny had already made a pot of warm, steaming porridge. The fox cub started to eat It and felt a warm sensation in his stomach.

Just then, a red breasted Robin came and perched on the window sill. Granny strolled over to the window and opened the latch to greet Robin.

"Hello Mr. Robin, I've got a very important job for you. This fox cub has lost his parents and we would appreciate it if you would go and search for them".

Mr.Robin set off and Granny watched him until he flew out of sight.

"You ate that porridge fast, shall we give you a bath now?" Granny asked the cub.

"No, I want my parents," the cub sobbed.

After an hour, the robin returned to Granny's window sill.

"Granny, I have got some bad news .The cub's parents are trapped in a hole. I saw a digger filling it in.

At that second , the cub burst into loud cries.

"Don"t worry we'll save them," said Granny calmly.

The next morning, Granny spotted Mole digging.

"Mole,I need to talk to you," she exclaimed.

"Sure thing Granny" said Mr.Mole in his usual jolly tone.

"Fox's parents are trapped in their burrow, I wondered If you could dig them out."

"I"d be happy to help," Mole replied.

That night, Granny and Mole thought of a plan. They would ask Mr.Robin where the cub's parents were trapped and then Mole would dig them out.

In the morning, they gulped down their breakfast and ran out to try and find Mr.Robin. Shortly after, they found him perched on a tree.

"Mr.Robin come with us" they called. Granny, Mole, Robin and the fox cub hurried along the path to where the foxes were trapped.

Eventually, Mr.mole dug the cubs parents out for the hole.

The fox family thanked Granny, Mole and Robin and they had a delicious feast with all of the animals.

Short story review
Another lovely story Fern, thank you! You have obviously worked very hard to make sure the speech is punctuated carefully and you have used it to move your story along. I'm so very glad that Granny found the fox cub and that she could muster up a team to save his parents! I do love a happy ending :-)

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Fern J - Year 5

One early morning , a man called Jason woke with a spark in his head. he sprang out of his bed and jumped into his clothes. Jason dashed downstairs and wrapped a scarf around his neck and put on his wooly hat.

Without having breakfast, he pushed the door aside and sprinted out into the open. When he reached his laboratory he didn't stop but ran straight to his bosses office. "Why have you disturbed me when you can see I am busy?" his Boss, Mr.Franklin boomed whilst he shot up out of chair.

"Please Sir, I did some research last night and I think the sun stays still whilst the Earth orbits around it!" Jason declared with triumph taking over his face.

"What nonsense boy! We figured out that the sun moves around us ages ago. If you really believe in this gibberish your'll telling me, we will send you in a rocket up into space and you can find out for yourself that your theory is hooey".

When the time arrived for Jason to go on his expedition, a child from the local orphanage crept into the spaceship for she wanted everyone to notice her.Take off in 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 boom they shot out of the space station and where out of sight in seconds. Taking a day, they zoomed into the universe and began waiting. Just then , they saw it a glimpse of the sun moving. Clash a rocky,heavy metor hit there ship pilluting through the air.The metor had caused such damage that it had left a hole in the spaceship. They grabbed a parachute each and zoomed out of the hole. They slowly drifted down to earth and ran to the laboratry where there boss awated them and he told them about there journey. Finally, he was convinced and they told everyone they knew.

Short story review
Mrs Hague
What an exciting day for Jason and the girl from the orphanage! Thank you for your story Fern, some great vocabulary choices, 'hooey' being my favourite, I think that I need to start using that word more often!

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Oscar M - Year 5

"Everybody!" yelled Houston "We need to go back to H.Q." The astronauts stopped what they were doing and stared at Houston "CHOP CHOP HURRY UP!" The team of astronauts leapt across the rocky surface of the moon towards the high tech lab which looked like a spider that had lights for eyes and bridges for legs. When they were inside they heard the occasional high pitch BLEEP and saw David trembling, but it was NOT the type when you say "Oh dear, it is really cold out here" it was the type where you say "Urrrm, something's gone wrong with H.Q. Sir."

Houston put his hand on David's shoulder "What"s gone wrong?" Houston asked calmly. "O-O-Oxygen!" David stammered "What about the Oxyg"¦" a thought went through his mind like a bullet through paper. "To the Oxygen tank NOW!" The team took to their feet, and stumbled down twenty steps and came to where all the precious Oxygen was stored. Even though Houston was the captain of the crew he was last to enter the room. He thought he'd see them trying to cover up or even find what had caused the loss of Oxygen. But no they were all lying on their back taking in massive breaths "What the heck are you doing?" They all jumped to their feet "Urrm," they replied. "HAVE YOU FORGOTEN YOUR TRAINING?" Houston screamed. His fellow comrades were so distracted they didn't know what they were saying "Yes sir" "Oh for goodness sake, GET TO WORK AND COVER THAT HOLE!" Houston looked out the window and saw earth, he started to hear children's voices and a woman's too. He looked back at his crew and they were panicking, he remembered what his instructor told him "The worst thing you could do in a worst case scenario is panic" "STOP PANICKING! Listen, spray this ointment over the tank to kill the bacteria that's eating the metal then seal it. They did as they were told and the problem was solved.

Short story review
Mrs Hague
Thank you for your story Oscar. Thank goodness that Houston could keep his cool in that stressful situation, even if the rest of his crew couldn't!

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May C - Year 5
Moon landing

Safely landing on the rocky, bumpy moon the men grab their thin sophisticated suits. Sliding them on and leaping out with excitement. Floating away into the unknown they wonder what they will find.

Putting their heavy, battered boots on the uneven surface of the round moon a beloved crew member went silent. What had happened to him?

Drifting away further and further. Grabbing a walkie talkie of the side of their suits with hope someone will pick up.

Watching the loved man drifting away into the unknown. Observantly looking for what could have caused this unexpected problem.

In the distance one of the brave, fearless astronauts could hear hissing. It was as if there were snakes surrounding you.

Suddenly approaching in the distance, a pointy ended rocket zooming up from the round, marble like earth was HELP. Getting closer and closer with speed they grab the lonely man with fear they didn't get there quick enough. Doing C.P.R with minutes or maybe seconds before it was too late.

Short story review
Mrs Hague
What a scary predicament your character found himself in. I was very relieved that the help rocket from Earth got there in time to save him! Thank you for your story.

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Anabel K - Year 5
Moon Landing

Here I am in a rocket about to take off into space. I'm felling nervous and excited because I wonder what we will discover. I have been trained for this special moment. I've worked hard to get here and it was my dream but I am frightened of what we will see.

"Were ready for take off!" shouted the pilot.

"10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1, Take off!" we all yelled

WOW what force I felt being pushed back into my seat but now I feel more relaxed as we fly through space. Passing through the atmosphere was a bit tricky at first but it got easier.

"Were almost there." Said one of my crew men.

As the pilot prepared to land we all got our heavy suits on. I feel really excited now to land on the moon. My dream has really come true.

Here we are, I was the first person to get out of the rocket and to step on the moon out all the crew including the pilot. We've been asked to take samples so that's what I'm going to do. Someone else was in a rig using the massive saw to cut through the rock.

We are here for 2 weeks before we have to take back the samples of what we have discovered back to Earth. I have to get used to the food in space. I still can't believe that I have travelled miles and miles as well as having to go back.

Day to day we found lots of samples that we could take back to Earth. On the 10th day I was aloud to go in the rig to control the large saw that cut through the rock. It was the best day of my life. I felt in charge of all the men. The pilot started to fill the tank with the fuel and get the engine ready whist we were getting into the rocket ready to go back home.

"10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1,take off!" We all shouted and off we were on our bumpy ride home. As we landed on Earth I sighed happily and said "Home Sweet Home".

Short story review
Mrs Hague
This story made me want to be an astronaut, your story made it sound like a very exciting job. It made me wonder what the scientists back on Earth might discover in the samples that the crew brought back. Thank you Anabel!

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